As the dizziness wears off...

...I sit here at Panera Bread, after having done 4 hours of Conflict of Laws. My hangover was monumental this morning, and continued into the afternoon. Last night was well worth it though, I was in need of a crazy night. We started out at Los Cabos, where I had margaritas and 3 flour tortillas. I didn't eat much because I wanted to didn't want to give my body any more of a reason to keep me the least bit sober, and I hadn't gotten my ass over to the gym yesterday. Then we went to the Snail where L and I had about a thousand jager bombs, and we two-stepped on the Grey Snail dance floor. When we were sitting out on the patio, L was trying to convince me that we had hit an iceberg and that it was going to prevent us from being able to get home. Too funny - I love drunk asses!

I did however get my ass over to the mall and bought the cutest most comfortable dress ever. My camera died last night so I have NO pictures, but I'll wear it again soon, very soon. I could give two shits if people think I have nothing else to wear. If I find an outfit I love, I will repeat it as many times as I want.

I wish the couple that I'm facing would leave, because the they are engaging in some nauseating PDA, solely instigated by the girl; the guy is absolutely freaking gorgeous and I can't take my eyes off of him; and the girl is well, at the very least tomboy girl next door cute. God he's hot...I think I need to get some major booty...TMI, but it's been awhile, and the stress generating from Barbri is not helping.

Really happy to see that fuckstain DA from Durham County get disbarred; lawyers like him are the reason why I will always be made fun of because of the profession I am in. Not all of us are bad; especially me - despite my fairly loose morals, I am an extremely ethical person.

My plan for the rest of the evening: Grab a bottle of chardonnay on the way home, put said chardonnay in freezer for quick chilling, get cleaned up, drink said chardonnay, find some shit to do tonight. I'll either be going to karaoke at Charries, or somewhere in Brookside with Sara et al. I don't care which one I do, but I will need a designated driver tonight, that's fo sho.

Let's hope I don't drunk-dial the sperm donor to sarcastically wish him a happy father's day at 2am...I've been known to do that before.

New Smoking Ban

"The Motion Picture Association of America is under new leadership. The new head asked experts at Harvard to recommend how to handle smoking in movies. The Harvard panel came back with strict guidelines that would ban smoking except in real historical context, from all but R-rated movies. If a character smokes, unless they are playing an actual person who smoked, the film would get an R rating."

This is the dumbest shit I've heard all week.

AOL is f-ing nuts!

I went through this a couple of years ago and when I called back to complain, they threw out my last bill, which was pretty cool. But still, I've heard way too many people with this problem.

What the hell is wrong with Connie Chung?

This woman used to be a pretty intelligent journalist and now she's making Anna Nicole Smith look like a Harvard graduate.

Free Breast Exams

This is great...

MIAMI - A 76-year-old man claiming to be a doctor went door-to-door in a Florida neighborhood offering free breast exams and was charged with sexually assaulting two women who accepted the offer, police said Thursday.

One woman became suspicious after the man asked her to remove all her clothes and began conducting a purported genital exam without donning rubber gloves, investigators said.

The woman then phoned the Broward County Sheriff's Office, and the suspect fled. He was arrested at another woman's apartment in the same Lauderdale Lakes neighborhood on Wednesday, a sheriff's spokesman said.

The white-haired suspect, Philip Winikoff, carried a black bag and claimed to be visiting on behalf of a local hospital.

"He told the woman that he was in the neighborhood offering free breast exams," sheriff's spokesman Hugh Graf said in a statement.

At least two women, both in their 30s, let him into their homes, and he fondled and sexually assaulted them, the investigators said.

Winikoff was not a doctor, Graf said. He worked as a shuttle driver for an auto dealership.

Is it just me...

...or does Katie Holmes look like a 12 year old girl who has stuffed her shirt with a pillow to look like she's pregnant.



I snagged this picture from one of my favorite celebrity gossip pages, thesuperficial.com. I just don't see how, if she is THAT skinny and THAT pregnant, she can just walk around in her size 2 designer maternity jeans and silk tank top without toppling over.

On another note, since I finally have DVR and added the Showtime and Encore movie packages onto my cable plan, I have been watching a lot of movies and original Showtime shows that I will evaluate.....now.

Weeds: A comedy about a suburban housewife turned marijuana dealer. Love it! I've never been a Kevin Nealon fan, but I can honestly say that I love him in this show. But the best part of this show is Mary Louise Parker. She just won a golden globe for her portrayal of the drug-dealing widow and it was well deserved. I love every character in this show from the fucked up Uncle Andy to the stuck-up PTA dictator Celia. If you don't have showtime, you should get it. If you know me personally, I am currently recording all of season 1, so you are welcome to come over and watch it with me.

HUFF: A dramedy about a psychiatrist experiencing his own midlife crisis. This show is ok. I originally tuned in for this show because of the cast: Blythe Danner, Hank Azaria, Paget Brewster and Oliver Platt, to mention a few. The show is entertaining, but there is a little too much drama for having such a comedically inclined cast. I'll watch it if it's on, but I'm not going to go out of my way to catch every episode.

Crash: A drama about racism set in Los Angeles that interweaves several characters' stories over the span of a few days. I was very reluctant to go see this movie in the theatre. If you know me and have ever tried to get me to go to the theatre with you, you know that there are only two different kinds of movies that I like to see in the theater: comedy and horror. I don't know why, but I cannot sit in a theatre and watch a serious film. Anwyays, I'm glad I saw this movie...I probably won't see it again, but it was a very intelligent film with a lot of very talented actors. I suggest you see it at least once, if you haven't already.

13 Going on 30: This is a horrible movie, I got through about the first 10 minutes and then deleted it. Don't waste your time. I'm an avid lover of stupid teen chick flicks, but this was just boring and dorky.

The Prince and Me: see above review.

Queer as Folk: If you like gay porn, you'll love this show. My friend who loves this show tells me that not all the episodes are like the one I saw, but the one I saw started out with a gay orgy and then split the screen into 4 shots where there were 4 simultaneous gay orgies. Now I don't have a problem with gay porn at all, but I do have a problem with Hal Sparks playing a gay man. Two of my best friends are gay men and I spend every Tuesday evening at Renegades watching their drag show. I know gay men and Hal Sparks is not a gay man, nor can he play one. I love Hal Sparks, I think he's adorable, but he seems way too uncomfortable playing the lead in this show. Now, he may be gay in real life, that I do not know, but I can tell you, I only got through the first 15 minutes of this show, not because of the gay porn (that was the most comforting part of my experience), but because of Hal Sparks rendition of an out-of-the-closet homosexual.

Crackheads in Alabama

Airbag Deploys, Baby Spears Goes Pop

Mother of the year, Britney Spears is currently under investigation for child endangerment after paparazzi got pictures of her driving with her 5 month old baby in her lap. What the paparazzi failed to get a shot of was the cigarette Britney had in her left hand. Is this a surprise to anyone?

For those of you who don't know me very well, I love celebrity gossip and I love Britney Spears because she has kept the gossip magazines quite interesting for the past 5 years. I love Britney's music and I'm not all too ashamed to admit it. In college, my suitemate and I got one of those videos that teaches you how to do all the Britney dances, so yes, I still know how to do the "Oops, I did it again" dance.

I have never been supportive of the whole "Kevin" phase that Britney has been going through and I really wish it would end. As jealous as I am of Britney's pre-Federline body, I kind of miss it...