*truth*

This little woman turned 100 today and has been smoking since she was 7 years old in 1914.

I'd like to see one of those truth.com commercials that says, "but hey, maybe you'll be lucky like this woman, because all it really comes down to is genetics. Or maybe you'll follow our lead, quit smoking and then die in a car accident...just a thought."

Ah, the irony.

All this free time...

...and nothing to do but prepare for failure.

Now that the bar exam is over and I've returned from my post-bar vacation, I now have tons of free time. I don't even want to think about a job right now, not until I get my bar results. Today, I got up around 10:30, cleaned my house, went grocery shopping, cooked, worked out and took Jack to the dog park. And now I'm back at home and I'm looking around and the thought of laying around watching tv just makes me anxious. The more I sit around and do nothing, the more I think about the bar exam and plan for possible situation that I did not pass.

Things that have been going through my head about possibly failing the bar:

-If I fail, I will dress up as somebody really stupid for Halloween, like Jessica Simpson or one of the Olly girls from Sunset Tan. This goes along with a mantra that I hold on strong to: If I don't laugh at myself, I'll probably end up crying, so it's best just to laugh.

-If I fail, I will immediately enroll in a 2 week bartending course and get a job somewhere as a bartender until I start studying for the bar again.

-If I fail, I will suck it up and go celebrate with all my friends who did pass, because that's probably better than crying by myself in my apartment all next weekend.

-If I fail, I will tell people who are oblivious to the fact that the scores already came out that I took the Texas bar exam and have to wait till November to find out if I passed or not...you know, just to save face.

-I've been making an "at least I'm not" list in my head to make me feel better about my life. I.e. At least I'm not so-and-so, who just got pregnant with her 3rd kid...because who wants to have 3 kids right now? Not me :) And at least I'm not Evan Rachel Wood, because then I would be sleeping with Marilyn Manson...and well, ew.

I'm glad I'm not working right now, but I kind of wish I was in school for something. Maybe I'll start going to that ceramics place and make some pots. I guess I could get back to painting, I just feel so artistically unmotivated right now. Any suggestions?

Like such as in South Africa?

So the Miss Teen USA Pageant was on tonight so, of course, I was at home watching it. My 2 favorites: New Jersey and South Carolina. South Carolina got 3rd Runner Up and New Jersey was 1st Runner Up. Colorado won...cute cute girl.

Well, South Carolina is absolutely gorgeous, you just have no idea, but the second the poor girl opened her mouth...it was well, here is her answer to the final question.

Question: Recent polls have shown 1/5 of Americans can't locate the
U.S. on a world map, why do you think this is?

Answer: I personally believe -that us Americans are unable to do so -
because - uh - some people out there in our nation- don't have maps
and - uh I believe that our education- like such as in South Africa ,
and the Iraq everywhere - like such as - and I believe that they
should - our education over here in the U.S. - should help the U.S. -
help South Africa and sould help the Iraq and the (the bell DING)
Asion cuntires so we will be able to build up our future for our
children.

Baby that butt's so scandelous

This is a picture of me at approximately the age of 5. I never liked my bottom to be covered and that's why I prefer the thong. But unfortunately, Baby Gap hasn't come out with the thong for toddlers yet :( It's okay though, I took care of business.

The last conversation...

...between my mother and me before I left Austin to return to Tulsa.

Mom: What is this? (referring to the picture below)

Me: Oh, that's something that Meme drew for me last night.
Mom: Really? Really? I love cock in my ass? Really classy...
Me: Alright, well, I'm going to go get on a plane and leave the state. I love you!

Thanks Meme!

Jetlag...boo

Got back from Europe...I was suppose to hang out with one of my best friends last night, but my jetlagged ass fell asleep at 5pm yesterday and here I am now, wide awake at almost 4am. Go away jetlag!

Bon Voyage

I got my luggage back, just in the nick of time. Apparently, a large black suitcase with white polka dots and a hot pink luggage tag appears to be a security breach. Turns out, my luggage never even left Tulsa...it got held up in security...what?!? And even worse, I had to drive all the way out to the airport and pick it up myself. You'd think they would deliver it, but no.

So I leave bright and early at 7am to fly out to DC, then to Frankfurt, Germany, and finally to Barcelona where we will board the cruise. It will be a long day, but I'm so thrilled to walk onto our boat.

I probably won't be blogging again until I get back on the 22nd...so I guess, say a little prayer that our plane doesn't go down in the middle of the Atlantic...I will be on a lot of meds (I'm terrified of flying, especially overseas).

Ciao!

Updateriffic

1. I'm in Austin, just flew down here today so that my mom and I can fly together to Europe.

2. The airline lost my luggage and have no clue where it could have gone. This means that I have nothing to take on my cruise on Wednesday, so it I don't get my luggage back by morning, I will spend the day shopping for new clothes, socks, underwear, bras, toothbrush, shoes, bathing suit...not the fun shopping trip it may sound like.

3. After calling me and saying that he really wanted to see me before I left for Europe, and that we should get together this weekend, the guy I've been talking to/seeing/dating/whatever, completely blew me off all weekend. Then I ran into him at a bar while he was on a date with another chick. Granted, I wasn't that into him to begin with, but that kind of treatment still pisses me off. And really, it wasn't that he is seeing other girls, I have no problem with that, but running into him after he blew me off and then he acted like it was nothing.

4. My best little squirrel Meme is stuck in San Antonio, because her purse was stolen and she can't get her car started without her keys. Hopefully she will be back in the morning so we can play, or shop, whatever is in the mix.

5. I'm excited about the cruise, but wish I had my luggage...but regardless, it will be so nice to get away and relax on the Mediterranean.

6. I'm going to miss my little Jack so much, but he's in good hands. Megan and Kelso are splitting custody of the little dude...god, he and I haven't been apart from each other longer than 8 days.

Hopefully, I will get to blog a little while I'm on the cruise, but I'm guessing that the internet is going to be wicked expensive, so Europe blogging will possibly have to wait a few weeks.

Ciao!