Don't you put it in your mouth

This video makes me smile amidst all the bullshit law I have pumelling through my mind these days...and remember boys, according to Concerned Children's Advertiser, it's okay to eat a muffin...tee hee.

I wish my apartment was a dog...

...so that it would clean itself.

How is it that my apartment is getting so messy? I don't even spend any time there. I did my laundry last week and now all the clean laundry is just laying all over my desk. Does anyone know a good maid service that doesn't charge too much? While I've decided to just let my car go and just wait until the exam is over with to get it detailed, I don't think I can let my apartment go.

Jackie - get the dog, I love the name Gracie. I'll help you train her. The best thing to do is go get puppy pads and start taking her out 3 times a day, but have the puppy pads for back up. Cavaliers are generally pretty healthy dogs, so I'm sure you won't run into any problems with health. You will love having a dog, they just add so much to your life.

1 down...4 to go.

Gallons of water that is. Here is my nifty little hangover remedy...it holds 5 gallons, I put a bunch of ice in it. I think for the morning after the bar exam, I might fill it with gatorade. Anyways, I intend to finish this.



Oh yes, and last night was officially the last night. It's all bar review from here on out. I'm not saying that I won't greet Megan and Jackie out on their bdays, but no more drunken debauchery until July 25th.

"Do it, honey...do it"

Actual question out of my bar review book:

Ricky was relaxing in his living room when his wife entered and asked what he'd like for dinner. Ricky replied, "Ethel, next dinner." Startled, Lucy asked Ricky what he meant by that remark. Ricky then said, "Look, I've had the hots for Ethel for a long time. I've got this burning desire to go next door and rape her." As Ricky was about to walk out the door, he turned to Lucy and said, "You want to come along and watch?" Lucy shook her head as if to say okay and followed him next door.



Moments later, Ricky rang the doorbell and Ethel came to the door. After entering her home, Ricky grabbed Ethel's arm and began to rip off her clothes. Terribly frightened, Ethel pleaded with Ricky to stop. As he continued to assault her, Ethel then turned to Lucy and said, "Please tell him to get off me." Lucy, who despised Ethel, simply stood by and told Ricky, "Do it, honey...do it." Ricky raped Ethel repeatedly and afterwards threatened to kill her if she told anyone.

On a charge of raping Ethel, Lucy should be found:
(A) not guilty, because it is legally impossible for a woman to commit rape
(B) not guilty, because Ethel's mere presence and oral encouragement, whether or not she had the requisite intent, will not make her quilty as an accomplice
(C) guilty, because, with the intent to have Ethel raped, she shouted encouragement to Ricky
(D) guilty, because she aided and abetted Ricky through her mere presence plus her intent to see Ethel raped

What the fuck? Seriously, the people who come up with these questions are disturbed.

You can't have manslaughter...

...without laughter.

Why I need a personal assistant...

Especially during the bar exam.



Yes, that's right, my electricity got turned off today. Not because I didn't have the money to pay my bill, but because I was just too lazy to actually pay it.

However, I did go get my driver's license today which was quite the debacle, but I don't even want to get into it - I just want a damn beer.

I also ran into a wall, not theoretically speaking, literally - I'm losing it, I was just walking through my apartment and I walked into a wall.

What's the tape for?

Today, we had our first of two Civil Procedure lectures, and before our lecture began, the lecturer stated, "don't worry, if anything goes wrong, I brought duct tape"...then he held up a huge role of duct tape. I quickly got a text or "nerd whisper" from Sara who was sitting several rows behind me that said, "Is this guy into bondage?" I was waiting for him to make a law-related illustration, but to the contrary...he never mentioned it again, which kind of disturbed me.

Besides the kinky pre-lecture comment, his actual lecture was great...I never understood Civ Pro in law school and it just seems so easy to me now. Why don't I feel that way about Constitutional law...it's kicking my ass, and K's too. We just kill on all the other MBE practice questions and then we get to Con Law and it's just pathetic. I'm now listening the audio lectures and concurrently taking notes, hopefully that will help.

Can't wait till tomorrow...it will be a spontaneous evening as I really have no idea what I'm going to do after the softball game. I'll either be heading to Brookside for the re-opening of Suede, or whatever they're calling it now, with the JG group, or going to Caravan with Megan, or going to Night Trips for the Free Paris Party...all I know is that I will be consuming heavy amounts of alcohol.

Off to do laundry.

9 Days and Counting...

Stupid little things that get me through a 10 hour day of studying:

(1) The iPhone comes out in 9 days, and my mom is getting me one...she rocks in so many ways!

(2) Softball game on Thursday...and I got me some new socks!

(3) Caravan Thursday...and I get to play wingman for M...

(4) Good weather...maybe? please? I'm hoping for Friday to be a pretty day so we can lay out by the pool and study.

(5) SYTYCD tomorrow night - I've got DVR so it only takes me about 30 minutes to watch it.

(6) Testing my commercial paper skills --- yes, I'm one of those nerds who enjoys subjects that 99% of law student loathe.

(7) The fact that Kelli actually mentioned today that she'd be down with studying at Panera one day within the next week...sweet!

(8) Blogging...ha.


Things that I'm putting off/not looking forward to:

(1) Paying my cable, phone and electric bill. Only because I'm lazy.

(2) Getting my new Oklahoma license...only because I don't want to take my hair out of a ponytail or put mascara on for the picture.

(3) Order my transcript...because the TU business office is so damn hard to get to get to with all the construction. Kelli: we are doing this after barbri either tomorrow or Thursday, because we both need to do it.

(4) Civil Procedure tomorrow AND Thursday. Listen, I don't mind jurisdictional issues, in fact I heart anything having to do with jurisdiction; what I don't like is all the deadlines for motions etc etc that we are going to have to memorize.

Please take your children...

...and get the fuck out of Panera! I understand that Panera is not a library, but it is still a cafe, where people go to eat peacefully, read, study or converse with a friend or colleague. We've got grandma, grandpa, mom and dad all ignoring the fact that their 3 children are screaming and running around while the rest of the cafe is giving them dirty looks. The only person making the tiniest bit of an effort to quiet down the infant from hell is the 6 year old daughter. Nice parenting...do me a favor, have all the unprotected sex you want and destroy your own life, but please, don't destroy the innocent people's lives around you.

Also, there is a college guy having some issues with his internet connection so he's on SPEAKER PHONE with technical support. Seriously?

Victory is mine!

1. I found my passport!!! It was underneath the passenger seat of my car. And, yes, I looked yesterday, but I don't think you have any idea how messy my car was. Problem solved. Now I don't have to pay $150 to get one expedited to me in time for my cruise.

2. It's not a fun game, and it doesn't have very good odds, but I won the "Find the Smell" game. It wasn't in my trash, it wasn't in my fridge, it was in my garbage disposal. So I did the dishes, cleaned out the fridge, cleaned the counters, chopped up a lime and threw it down the garbage disposal.

That is all, now I can get back to studying.

Where do birds go to die?

Answer: The tree in front of my apartment.



This is weird...there are 5, yes, 5 dead birds underneath this tree. It's creeping me out a little bit, because it's not like all five of them just dropped out of the tree one day. It started as one bird, then the next day another, and now there are 5. Any idea as to what's going on with this tree?

Touch me, beautiful!

I'm watching American Pie right now on USA and it is just horribly censored. On another note, last night was a freaking blast. I met up with Megan at Target, where I bought myself a new camera, finally. We went back to my place, drank some wine and got ready to go out. Met up with some other people at Caravan and then after-partied till after 4am. Jacuzzi, pool, beer...it was a fun night.

Downside to last night, I lost my passport, so now I don't have a driver's license and I don't have a passport. I'm going to have to do something about that tomorrow.

Some memorable quotes from last night: am i drunk, or is he the most gorgeous guy i've ever set my eyes on...when i call a girl a ho, all that means is that if i had the body, i'd be wearing the exact thing she is wearing...see this skirt usually goes down past my knees, but i hiked it up all short, cuz i'm a ho...i bet you have your nipples pierced...are you a mac or a pc user...

As the dizziness wears off...

...I sit here at Panera Bread, after having done 4 hours of Conflict of Laws. My hangover was monumental this morning, and continued into the afternoon. Last night was well worth it though, I was in need of a crazy night. We started out at Los Cabos, where I had margaritas and 3 flour tortillas. I didn't eat much because I wanted to didn't want to give my body any more of a reason to keep me the least bit sober, and I hadn't gotten my ass over to the gym yesterday. Then we went to the Snail where L and I had about a thousand jager bombs, and we two-stepped on the Grey Snail dance floor. When we were sitting out on the patio, L was trying to convince me that we had hit an iceberg and that it was going to prevent us from being able to get home. Too funny - I love drunk asses!

I did however get my ass over to the mall and bought the cutest most comfortable dress ever. My camera died last night so I have NO pictures, but I'll wear it again soon, very soon. I could give two shits if people think I have nothing else to wear. If I find an outfit I love, I will repeat it as many times as I want.

I wish the couple that I'm facing would leave, because the they are engaging in some nauseating PDA, solely instigated by the girl; the guy is absolutely freaking gorgeous and I can't take my eyes off of him; and the girl is well, at the very least tomboy girl next door cute. God he's hot...I think I need to get some major booty...TMI, but it's been awhile, and the stress generating from Barbri is not helping.

Really happy to see that fuckstain DA from Durham County get disbarred; lawyers like him are the reason why I will always be made fun of because of the profession I am in. Not all of us are bad; especially me - despite my fairly loose morals, I am an extremely ethical person.

My plan for the rest of the evening: Grab a bottle of chardonnay on the way home, put said chardonnay in freezer for quick chilling, get cleaned up, drink said chardonnay, find some shit to do tonight. I'll either be going to karaoke at Charries, or somewhere in Brookside with Sara et al. I don't care which one I do, but I will need a designated driver tonight, that's fo sho.

Let's hope I don't drunk-dial the sperm donor to sarcastically wish him a happy father's day at 2am...I've been known to do that before.

I need an alarm clock

So, for the past 2 years, I've used my motorola razr as an alarm clock. It's worked very well, it's very loud and pretty much the only time I've ever slept through it was when I was unconsciously drunk. My razr broke about a week ago, and I had a back up razr, but that one stopped working a couple of days ago. So, now I'm using my friend's old nokia. I would buy a new phone, but I'm waiting it out since the iPhone comes out in 2 weeks.

Well, I'm suppose to be at Barbri right now learning the fabulous Conflict of Laws. I completely slept through my alarm on the dumb old nokia phone (damn polyphonic ringtones). I should have done something about it yesterday because I almost didn't hear it yesterday as well. So now, I'm going to have to double up on barbri on Monday...fun fun. I'm just thankful that they have make-up classes.

P.S. Any of you that try to tell me that the reason I didn't wake up this morning was because I was up till 5am last night trying to go to sleep, but blogging about it instead, can screw off. This is not the 1st or 100th time that I've gone to bed at 5am and had to get up at 8am.

Another Sleepless Night

For some reason, I can sleep for hours in the middle of the day, but I can't get to sleep at a reasonable hour at night. And I'm trying to conserve my good sleeping pills for when I really need them.

I'm currently watching the series finale of Dawson's Creek, which is dumb dumb dumb. This is really a show that should have ended when they graduated highschool.

Whoa...Pacey is getting the crap beat out of him by his lover's husband...it's bad...I wonder if they kill him? The sad thing, is that all I can think about is, did the husband have adequate provocation? Was there a sufficient "cooling off" period? What kind of force may Pacey use in defense of himself? Also, the guy has 2 friends with him...conspiracy, accomplice liability...what have I turned into?



Series finale "shockers" (note heavy sarcasm):

1. Jen got knocked up and her boyfriend left her to raise a baby alone - big f-ing surprise, I could've predicted this from the 3rd episode.

2. Both Pacey and Dawson are still drooling over Joey, even though she's got 5 inch long roots...ew.

3. Pacey is having an affair with an older married woman.

4. Jack is now dating Pacey's older bro Doug - the brother who always cracked gay jokes about Pacey...yeah.

5. Dawson's slutty mom gets married...again.


Update: Pacey is not dead...just slightly mangled. Merely a battery. And Jen just passed out cold. Okay, I guess there is a part II, because it just ended with everyone finding out that Jen is going to die pretty soon. Whatever, I'm going to bed.

I know I'm not in college anymore...

...but I still visit collegehumor.com almost daily. So I shall share with you some of their high-larious posts.

Gay ways to wear a fanny pack:

Herpes, marathon sex and conspiracies.

What is with PMBR and dirty dirty questions? There was one about a guy who had herpes and had to disclose it because of an 1826 drafting provision...then there was one where a 30 year old perv picks up a girl from a bar who claims to be 20. They go back to a hotel, where they have "marathon sex" all weekend. He is arrested for statutory rape because it turns out that she is 12!!! Gross...how do you not know that a girl is 12? I know it's a hypothetical, but still.

Also, I think PMBR and BarBri are trying to screw us. According to my friends in Texas, they are being told to use A as the default answer this year, while in Oklahoma, we are being told to use B as the default answer (i.e. when you absolutely have no idea, choose B - because if a huge population of test takers get a question wrong on the multistate exam, and they all pretty much choose the same wrong answer, the bar examiners will likely throw that question out). Conspiracy? I don't know, but if you're reading this, B is the damn default answer!

We need a beer on 3rd!

It was another evening for softball, and I had a blast. It was a nice break after thinking about and studying for the bar all day. We lost by 2 runs, but I had a great hit deep into center field, I had a killer catch which left me on the ground and I got to slide into 2nd. It took me back to the days playing with West Austin Youth Association. Fun times...can't wait till next week!

Who does that?

I'm going to have to declare this weekend, "who does that?" weekend. Do you ever just have someone do something that makes you respond to yourself over and over again, "who does that?". Seriously, I asked myself that very question about 100 times this weekend.

A Novel of a Property Question

These property questions are so. freaking. long. If you're suppose to average 1.5 minutes per question, but it takes you 2 minutes just to read the questions, what is the freaking point? I know that there are some that are so short that you can zip through them in 30 seconds, but the majority of these questions are just so long as to confuse the reader...thanks bar examiners...

I loathe you Property

So here's a question that has popped up 3 times already during my property drills today. What happens when A conveys to B, then 2 years later asks B to give the deed back. B gives deed back to A, A destroys it. Who owns now? Apparently B still owns it, but in equity, that just doesn't make sense.

Here's another one: A leases to B for a period of 5 years. At the end of the 5 years, A writes to B "if you'd like to renew your lease, rent will now be increased to $1200 per month, not $1000". B doesn't respond, but holds over, and sends a check for $1000 with letter stating "$1200 is too much for this craphole". A cashes the check. What is the nature of the tenancy. Apparently, it is a year to year tenancy held at $1200 per month. Even though principles of contract law tell me that the check for $1000 was a counteroffer and cashing the check was an acceptance...wtf? Also, seriously, B is going to be held to another year to year? I would think it would be month-to-month, since the monthly payments impliedly create a month-to-month tenancy...whatever...where's my bottle of wine?

An ass kicking in fee simple absolute

It's been a busy several days...but now, I will update.

1. I'm in the library right now, which is being renovated and there's this incessant beeping noise every 5 seconds that is giving me a headache. Would it be bitchy if I emailed the dean about this? I mean, we're studying for the bar exam, which our school didn't prepare us for in the very least...it would be nice to have a quiet place to study.

2. I was suppose to fly down to Austin yesterday to testify against my father in a custody hearing regarding my sister. Turns out everything settled, and after getting a ride to the airport, rescheduling my flight twice and then finally canceling, I am now fairly certain that I don't have to go down there.

3. I have a step-mother...weird. I've never met her, but I found out today that my father actually married the woman he's been with for the past 5 years...the same woman he had an affair with while my parents were still married...classy chick, I'm sure. My mom says that she seems nice, but still, I think the only way I could have any respect for her is if she had absolutely no idea that my dad was still married when they started seeing eachother...which is highly likely.

4. I've been kicking ass in my workouts. Kelli and I have been going almost everyday for 2 hours. We went to this one class on Friday that was literally like a boot camp. We are both really sore, but feel good. She's a great study/exercise buddy...glad I found someone compatible to work with this Summer.

5. I'm excited about softball tonight. I'm playing with Jones, Gotcher and Bogan, and they are all lots of fun...I'm also going to run over to target and pick myself up a new glove, since mine has been lost for a while now.

6. Saturday night, I lost my brand new sterling silver id case, with my debit card, gas card, student id, license, $150 Panera gift card and $50 Subway gift card in it. Mainly, I'm upset about the gift cards, but I'm hoping it will turn up soon...I'm thinking it's somewhere at Niels' house or in his car.

7. KNOCKED UP = BEST. MOVIE. EVER. Not exaggerating. If anyone wants to go see it, I will gladly go see it again. I was laughing my ass off throughout the whole movie. I can't wait to see it again.

8. I'm signed up for a massage on Thursday at 2:30, Kelli and I are going over to the Clary Sage Massage School. Since, to date, I've done 104.5 hours of studying, I'm ready for my first well-deserved massage.