Love is...

Courtesy of CollegeHumor.com...

• Love is why Xanex and red wine will be together forever - in my stomach. At least until they pump it.
• Love is the second single from Ashley Simpson's second album, I Am Me.
• Love is that itching, burning sensation when you pee. Some might call it "The clap" but I don't speak spanish, so I call it love.
• Love is not kissing your clients on the lips.
• Love is like underwear: not completely necessary for a good time.
• Love is sensational, epic, whimsical, and endless. No, wait, that's The Chronicles of Narnia.
• Love is not having to pay for sex, but instead having to pay three times more for dinner, a movie, and flowers when really, it'd just be easier to pay for sex.
• Love is understanding that sometimes beating a level in Splinter Cell is more important than cuddling.
• Love is re-marrying your estranged husband after he wrote a song about slitting your throat and then named it after you (in case you didn't get this one, here's a hint: m&m).
• Love is the only thing in the world that doesn't get better with mayonnaise.
• Love is not something that can be written about with ordinary words, unless those words rhyme. Love is like a glove.
• Love is a perfectly good reason to get drunk on a Tuesday afternoon.
• Love is not farting until your girlfriend gets out of bed.
• Love is finding out that all the hookers he's been with kind of look like you.
• Love is a girl letting you touch one of her boobs. True love is a girl letting you touch both.
• Love is never having to say you're sorry, even if you empty the joint checking account because you "had a hunch" about the Haitian stock market.
• Love is never having to say "Your dad exposed himself to me that weekend in Chautauqua and I've been too afraid to tell you."
• Love is leaving class early to pick up your girlfriend from middle school.
• Love is a sacred bond between a man and a woman...until she sobers up.
• Love is letting her know she's gained some weight by giving her cute, subtle, little signs, such as calling her "Boulder" or "Tubby McSupersize", and my favorite...
• Love is the Jager talking.