Welcome!

The new addition to our family...more pictures to come, he's exhausted.

Sir Limps-A-Lot

So Sunday night I started experiencing some moderate pain in my right foot whenever I put weight on it. I figured it was from the 7 hour shift that I pulled Saturday night waiting tables. I hosted yesterday and tried my hardest to hide my limp, but it was last night that the pain when from moderate to severe, and from only when I put weight on it to constant.

I'm going to head over to get some x-rays and see what the heck is going on.

On a brighter note, after I get my foot checked out, I'm going over to look at some chihuahuas, and hopefully I'll have a new addition to my home by the end of the day.

Quarter Life

So, I've never been good at confronting people, whether it's telling someone what you want out of your job, telling someone they're being a dick or just telling someone that they've hurt my feelings. It's always been my biggest weakness. Well, I don't know what has happened to me in the last week and a half, but I'm starting to confront people, like immediately. And it doesn't even phase me.

Now, don't get me wrong, if I don't care about you, I'm not going to use any energy to confront you, but if I do care about you, I will.

Confrontation #1 "Hire me!"
Called a particular office and basically said, "Hey, I'm willing to wait tables for the next 3 months until there is a job opening, but you need to call me when you get an opening, because I've been trying to work there for the past 2 years, and I probably have more passion then half the people who work for you".

Confrontation #2 "Shut the hell up"
Emailed a person I thought was a friend of mine, but that I heard was talking shit and basically told her to stop talking about me period.

Confrontation #3 "Get over yourself"
Asked a friend to stop avoiding spending time with me because he hates one or several of my friends. Told him that it's starting to hit me personally and that he can't just blow off celebrations like my birthday because there's a person present who pissed him off 8 months ago.

I think/hope this is good for me, especially since I've always been such a damn wuss about everything. But the way I see it, if someone is doing something to hurt me, or there's something that I want, I need to speak up, or else I'm just going to dwell on it and nothing is ever going to come of it.

Ah...becoming an adult...

Sesame Street Unrated

Aunt Jemima

What is it about pancakes that is so damn good at 5am?

I'm not really a waitress...

I've had a busy and very fun week since I found out that I passed the bar exam. Friday night was unbelievably fun. We went to In the Raw for a fabulous dinner, then to Jewel, Brookside Bar and Another Round. It was pouring down rain, so I did get soaked, but it didn't make a difference. I could tell exactly when the alcohol started to take over as soon as I started going up to people and exclaiming, "I'm a Lawya!" Good times :)

Yesterday, I had my first experience at the Tulsa Zoo, and let me tell you, it smelled bad, but I cannot get enough of all those little animals. My favorites were the monkeys, the extremely fat frog and the sea lions.

Last night, I tried something out that I've always wanted to do. I went to a trivia night at Prive. It was so much fun. We had a huge group and even though we got 3rd place, we all had a blast, and fairly small bar tabs (apparently Prive is closing down, so it seems that they are practically giving away drinks). I dunno.

Today, I got a job. No, not a job as an attorney...but a job as a waitress AND bartender. I just went in for the serving job, but she asked me if I could start bartending Saturday and Sunday brunch and lunch. This will be perfect, because now I can take my time finding a law job and wait for a really great job. Plus, once I start working as a lawyer, I can still work a few shifts a week at the restaurant for extra money.

Another thing that happened today, was one of my attorney friends got appointed as the conflict attorney for our county, which means, whenever there is a conflict (usually for child abuse and domestic violence) between child and parent, he represents the child. AND he said he wants me to help him out, which means, I'll get experience in something I love, and again, make some more money until I figure out what it is that I'm going to do with this law degree.

Alright, well, I'm tired, I had a very long happy hour today and it's time to lay down.

And after the long wait...

...I passed the bar exam!!! I can finally call myself an attorney!

*truth*

This little woman turned 100 today and has been smoking since she was 7 years old in 1914.

I'd like to see one of those truth.com commercials that says, "but hey, maybe you'll be lucky like this woman, because all it really comes down to is genetics. Or maybe you'll follow our lead, quit smoking and then die in a car accident...just a thought."

Ah, the irony.

All this free time...

...and nothing to do but prepare for failure.

Now that the bar exam is over and I've returned from my post-bar vacation, I now have tons of free time. I don't even want to think about a job right now, not until I get my bar results. Today, I got up around 10:30, cleaned my house, went grocery shopping, cooked, worked out and took Jack to the dog park. And now I'm back at home and I'm looking around and the thought of laying around watching tv just makes me anxious. The more I sit around and do nothing, the more I think about the bar exam and plan for possible situation that I did not pass.

Things that have been going through my head about possibly failing the bar:

-If I fail, I will dress up as somebody really stupid for Halloween, like Jessica Simpson or one of the Olly girls from Sunset Tan. This goes along with a mantra that I hold on strong to: If I don't laugh at myself, I'll probably end up crying, so it's best just to laugh.

-If I fail, I will immediately enroll in a 2 week bartending course and get a job somewhere as a bartender until I start studying for the bar again.

-If I fail, I will suck it up and go celebrate with all my friends who did pass, because that's probably better than crying by myself in my apartment all next weekend.

-If I fail, I will tell people who are oblivious to the fact that the scores already came out that I took the Texas bar exam and have to wait till November to find out if I passed or not...you know, just to save face.

-I've been making an "at least I'm not" list in my head to make me feel better about my life. I.e. At least I'm not so-and-so, who just got pregnant with her 3rd kid...because who wants to have 3 kids right now? Not me :) And at least I'm not Evan Rachel Wood, because then I would be sleeping with Marilyn Manson...and well, ew.

I'm glad I'm not working right now, but I kind of wish I was in school for something. Maybe I'll start going to that ceramics place and make some pots. I guess I could get back to painting, I just feel so artistically unmotivated right now. Any suggestions?

Like such as in South Africa?

So the Miss Teen USA Pageant was on tonight so, of course, I was at home watching it. My 2 favorites: New Jersey and South Carolina. South Carolina got 3rd Runner Up and New Jersey was 1st Runner Up. Colorado won...cute cute girl.

Well, South Carolina is absolutely gorgeous, you just have no idea, but the second the poor girl opened her mouth...it was well, here is her answer to the final question.

Question: Recent polls have shown 1/5 of Americans can't locate the
U.S. on a world map, why do you think this is?

Answer: I personally believe -that us Americans are unable to do so -
because - uh - some people out there in our nation- don't have maps
and - uh I believe that our education- like such as in South Africa ,
and the Iraq everywhere - like such as - and I believe that they
should - our education over here in the U.S. - should help the U.S. -
help South Africa and sould help the Iraq and the (the bell DING)
Asion cuntires so we will be able to build up our future for our
children.

Baby that butt's so scandelous

This is a picture of me at approximately the age of 5. I never liked my bottom to be covered and that's why I prefer the thong. But unfortunately, Baby Gap hasn't come out with the thong for toddlers yet :( It's okay though, I took care of business.

The last conversation...

...between my mother and me before I left Austin to return to Tulsa.

Mom: What is this? (referring to the picture below)

Me: Oh, that's something that Meme drew for me last night.
Mom: Really? Really? I love cock in my ass? Really classy...
Me: Alright, well, I'm going to go get on a plane and leave the state. I love you!

Thanks Meme!

Jetlag...boo

Got back from Europe...I was suppose to hang out with one of my best friends last night, but my jetlagged ass fell asleep at 5pm yesterday and here I am now, wide awake at almost 4am. Go away jetlag!

Bon Voyage

I got my luggage back, just in the nick of time. Apparently, a large black suitcase with white polka dots and a hot pink luggage tag appears to be a security breach. Turns out, my luggage never even left Tulsa...it got held up in security...what?!? And even worse, I had to drive all the way out to the airport and pick it up myself. You'd think they would deliver it, but no.

So I leave bright and early at 7am to fly out to DC, then to Frankfurt, Germany, and finally to Barcelona where we will board the cruise. It will be a long day, but I'm so thrilled to walk onto our boat.

I probably won't be blogging again until I get back on the 22nd...so I guess, say a little prayer that our plane doesn't go down in the middle of the Atlantic...I will be on a lot of meds (I'm terrified of flying, especially overseas).

Ciao!

Updateriffic

1. I'm in Austin, just flew down here today so that my mom and I can fly together to Europe.

2. The airline lost my luggage and have no clue where it could have gone. This means that I have nothing to take on my cruise on Wednesday, so it I don't get my luggage back by morning, I will spend the day shopping for new clothes, socks, underwear, bras, toothbrush, shoes, bathing suit...not the fun shopping trip it may sound like.

3. After calling me and saying that he really wanted to see me before I left for Europe, and that we should get together this weekend, the guy I've been talking to/seeing/dating/whatever, completely blew me off all weekend. Then I ran into him at a bar while he was on a date with another chick. Granted, I wasn't that into him to begin with, but that kind of treatment still pisses me off. And really, it wasn't that he is seeing other girls, I have no problem with that, but running into him after he blew me off and then he acted like it was nothing.

4. My best little squirrel Meme is stuck in San Antonio, because her purse was stolen and she can't get her car started without her keys. Hopefully she will be back in the morning so we can play, or shop, whatever is in the mix.

5. I'm excited about the cruise, but wish I had my luggage...but regardless, it will be so nice to get away and relax on the Mediterranean.

6. I'm going to miss my little Jack so much, but he's in good hands. Megan and Kelso are splitting custody of the little dude...god, he and I haven't been apart from each other longer than 8 days.

Hopefully, I will get to blog a little while I'm on the cruise, but I'm guessing that the internet is going to be wicked expensive, so Europe blogging will possibly have to wait a few weeks.

Ciao!

The Post-Bar Exam Post

1. The essay portion of the bar exam was not too bad. There weren't any ridiculous questions that were completely out of left field, like usual, and I feel like I followed all the instructions, CRAC etc. All in all, I'm pretty sure that I passed the essay portion and I'm hoping I even got extra points to help out my MBE score if I need it.

2. The MBE sucked...SUCKED. I'm just so exhausted I don't want to even talk about it anymore, but I'm praying that I passed.

3. On the MBE day, I walked out of the Tulsa Convention Center for our 40 minutes lunch break and immediately got a phone call from my landlord telling me that my apartment got broken into and that I needed to come home and talk to the police. So I dash home, walk in to see: my closet had been ransacked, all my jewelry was gone, my kitchen window was broken, my dishwasher was kicked in, there was liquid make-up poured all over my vanity table and there was blood wiped on my walls.
The police caught him running down the street, so I was able to go and retrieve my belongings and get back to the bar exam just in time to do the shitty afternoon portion.
Here is a picture of the guy...I think he was in the middle of a meth binge.


4. I am very thankful that Jack wasn't at home during the break-in. He was at Jackie's apartment...so thankful, because he would have been roadkill, seriously. I'm also thankful that me, Kelli and/or Sara weren't there studying, like usual. Ew, that would have been freaky.

More blogging to come, time to relax.

Bar Review = Pregnancy

Why studying for the bar exam is like being pregnant:

-Although you try with all possible effort, you are bound to gain a good 10-30 pounds.

-The mood swings: the only people who don't annoy are the people who are experiencing it with you or have experienced it before.

-The desire to drink, but the obligation to abstain from it.

-The closer you get to that final day, you teeter between two emotions: (1) the terror of going through such a horrific and long (sometimes over 15 hours) experience and (2) the overwhelming excitement to just be done with it.

-You wonder if the end result is what you wanted in the first place.

-You could not own enough pairs of elastic pants.

-You go back and forth between resenting what is going to result after months of agonizing preparation, and cherishing it.

-The muscle aches, the back pains, and the non-stop desire but inability to sleep.

-When people find out what you're going through, they feel that it is their duty to tell you their horror stories about when they went through it.

-It's a personal choice, that many come to regret, until they reach the end.

-Complete abstinence is the only way to guarantee that it won't ruin your life.

-It leads to great results, if carried through its distant, bloody end.

-A bizarre wardrobe that you never want to see again after it's over.

-You know there is a lot to be happy about, but you have nothing to show for it.

-Breathing exercises, people...breathing exercises.

-Numerous exams are taken in preparation to make sure everything will be alright.

-A practice run to the testing center/hospital is a must.

-Final preparations are made, including packing a suitcase/clear ziplock bag.

-Costs thousands of dollars...pushing most into debt, while they have no earning capacity.

-If you don't succeed the first time, your chances of succeeding the next time are cut in half.


Unfortunately, expectant mothers don't have to go through 3 years of schooling, spend up nearly $100k and pass a character and fitness test in order to have a child...

Shun the non-believer...shhhhhhhhunnnnnnnn.

This might be the best study break I've ever taken.

I might be losing it...

So, I spend quite a lot of time studying for the bar exam at Panera Bread, since I have a gift card there and they have free wifi. Well, I made this outline several days ago and didn't notice this little mistake until 2 days later. Yeah, it's suppose to say "Commercial Paper".



And today, it was sad, I got really excited about buying new highlighters and number 2 pencils. This is what has become of my life.

"Malicious cockblocking carries punitive damages."

The Tort of Cockblocking

§ 1.1 - Overview and General Definitions

(a) Cockblocking is defined in the common law as an unlawful interference by the cockblocker with the cockblockee's chances of getting play from the target. The target must be a specific person; merely throwing off the cockblockee's game is insufficient. To analogize from Justice Cardozo, proof of cockblocking in the air, so to speak, will not do. See Martin v. Herzog, 126 N.E. 814, 816 (N.Y. 1920).

(b) The cockblocker is the person who engages in cockblocking, that is, the actual tortfeasor.

(c) The cockblockee is the person who was cockblocked. Only the cockblockee has standing to sue on a claim of cockblocking, although the law of agency may apply under appropriate circumstances.

(d) The target is the person from whom play was sought by the cockblockee.

(e) For the purposes of this treatise, the cockblockee will be assumed to be male and the target female; the cockblockee will be assumed to be male or female, depending on the type of cockblocking at issue. However, any actor may be male or female.


§ 1.2 - Play

It is not necessary that the plaintiff would have actually engaged in intercourse with the target; rather, there must only have been a substantial likelihood that the cockblockee would have hooked up. While to be actionable, cockblocking requires something more than a mere kiss, what counts as "play" shall be determined with reference to the local community in which the encounter took place. For example, evidence that the cockblockee would have engaged in a "hot make-out session" may be all that is required (for example, at a high school party), while other times the cockblockee must prove that "dude, she would have totally gone down on me" in others, see, e.g., College.

Note how characterization of the facts underlying "play" alter the claim. For example:

A meets B at a bar and they hit it off. They soon begin making out heavily. C, jealous of her friend, demands that B go home with her. C could potentially argue that she did not "prevent" A from getting play from B because they had already been playing serious tonsil-hockey at the bar. However, A could argue that he would have gotten to third base, had C not interfered and B come home with him. At this point, the court would have to consider questions of proximate cause in deciding on how it ought to characterize the alleged prevented "play."

§ 1.3 - Chances of Getting Play from the Target

The cockblockee's chances of actually getting play from the target is always a question for the trier of fact. Proof may be had by direct or circumstantial evidence. Notwithstanding any statutes or rules of evidence to the contrary, the target's sexual history is almost always relevant to determining the cockblockee's chances; such history may include, but is not limited to the target's preferred "type," the target's "easiness" (including when alcohol is involved), and any prior play from target recieved by the cockblockee.

§ 2.1 - Types of Cockblocking

The law recognizes three types of cockblocking: negligent cockblocking, intentional cockblocking, and malicious cockblocking.

§ 2.2 - Negligent Cockblocking

The cockblocker negligently cockblocks the cockblockee if his conduct poses an unreasonable risk of interfering with the cockblockee's chances of getting play from the target, and that he should have been aware of such risk.

§ 2.21 - Unreasonable Interference

The cockblocker's conduct must pose an unreasonable risk of interfering with the cockblockee's chances of hooking up with the target. What consitutes an unreasonable risk will be weighed relative to the cockblockee's actual chances of getting play from the target. The cockblockee's chances must therefore be measured at the time of the incident. For example, if at the time of the incident, A, the target, is totally wasted and would not have hooked up with B sober, B's chances with A must be measured relative to "drunk A," not "sober A." That A would have chewed his or her arm off upon waking up next to B is not relevant to B's chances. However, that B was "coyote ugly" is relevant to whether the interference was reasonable.

§ 2.22 - Cockblocker's Awareness of the Risk

To be actionable, the cockblocker should have been aware of that risk. Negligent cockblocking does not require a mental state, hence it is not necessary that the cockblocker was actually aware of the risk. Hence, that the cockblocker was too drunk to recognize that B was grinding her ass on A is no defense. Indeed, the degree and obviousness of flirtation between A and B is highly relevant to whether the cockblocker "should have been aware" of the risk his or her conduct posed to B getting play.

§ 2.23 - Conduct of the Cockblocker

Finally, there must have been actual conduct that interfered with the cockblockee's chances of getting play from the target. Acts of ommision are not negligent cockblocking. For example, if B was hitting on A, and C was busy downing shots at the bar, B cannot sue C for failing to be a good wingman and "take one for the team."

§ 2.3 - Intentional Cockblocking

A person commits the tort of intentional cockblocking if, with the intent to prevent the cockblockee from getting play from the target, engages in conduct that prevents the cockblockee from getting play.

§ 2.31 - Intent

The tort of cockblocking incorporates the common law on intent from other intentional torts. As such, a cockblocker may intend to cockblock by having a subjective "purpose in the heart" to cockblock, or may "know with reasonable certainty" that cockblocking will flow from her conduct. Here, severe intoxication may negate intent, if the plaintiff's theory is "knowledge with reasonable certainty." It does not however, negate a subjective "purpose in the heart." Hence, it may be advisable for the plaintiff to plead both negligent and intentional cockblocking, if the cockblocker appeared to be intoxicated.

Further, like other intentional torts, the doctrine of "transferred intent" is applicable to cockblocking. For example:

A, B, and C are approached by D and E. D hits on A while E hits on B. C approves of D, but not E and attempts to ruin E's chances with B. Although E is successful in separating B from the group, A is annoyed by the whole situation and leaves with C. C's intent to cockblock E transfers to E in the same way that missing a punch and hitting an innocent bystander transfers that tortfeasor's unlawful intent.

§ 2.32 - Conduct

Like negligent cockblocking, intentional cockblocking requires actual conduct, rather than acts of ommission. See § 2.23, supra.

§ 2.34 - Affirmative Defenses

(a) Consent of Cockblockee. While this is a rare situation, a person prone to beer goggles may ask his friends to prevent him from hooking up with an unattractive target, or to prevent him from cheating on his girlfriend. Here, the two issues for the trier of fact will be (1) whether the cockblockee actually consented, and (2) whether the conduct within the scope of the consent (i.e., were the cockblocker's standards too high). In cases where the target was questionably the scope of the consent, the trier of fact should consider both the objective attractiveness of the target, the clarity with which the consent was given. Of course, the cockblockee is always free to change his mind, regardless of the amount of alcohol consumed.

(b) Consent of Target. Similar considerations apply as with consent of the cockblockee. However, the trier of fact should be particularly careful to distinguish between cases where the consent to interfere was in force at the time of the conduct, and those where target changed her mind and the cockblocker used the target's prior "consent" as a pretext for her own agenda.

(c) True Competitor. A competitor is a person who cockblocks with the intent of getting play from the target himself. This defense follows from the maxim that "all's fair in love and war." However, in order to be a "true" competitor, the trier of fact must find that he had an equal or greater chance of recieving play from the target than the cockblockee.

§ 2.4 - Malicious Cockblocking

Malicious cockblocking incorporates all of the elements of intentional cockblocking. However, it contains the additional element that the cockblocker "willfully and wontonly" interfered with the cockblockee's chances of getting play. In other words, malicious cockblocking can be thought of as "depraved mind cockblocking," (similar to the mental element in many second-degree murder statutes). Typically, though not necessarily, the malicious cockblocker will be female, who will not be getting any action that night, and so feels compelled to drag her friends into her misery.

Whether intentional cockblocking qualifies as "malicious" is a matter of culpability. Therefore, it will always be a question for the trier of fact.

Malicious cockblocking carries punitive damages.